Pole Dancing Author Embarrasses Daughter
August 1, 2007
Hi everyone, in case you’re wondering why you haven’t heard from me in so long, the reason is two-fold. First, I’ve been hard at work editing my new book (Holly Would Dream) and second, I’ve been pole dancing. Yes, I know you’re shocked - I’ve been EDITING! A novel doesn’t write itself, you know.
And then there is the other thing - pole dancing. Included in the curriculum is stripping (note to mom: NOT all the way) and lap dancing, all done to the tune of six-inch patent leather high heels. Several of my friends were doing it and I thought, that is the LAST thing in the universe I would ever do even on a bet. I’m no sexpot, I have no sense of rhythm, and I failed the Presidential Fitness test in 6th grade. But then I thought, why not give it whirl (get it, whirl). So I did. I must confess that the first day of class, I announced to everyone, “I’m afraid of the pole.” But guess what? Now you can’t get me off it!
So far, Mark won’t let me install a pole in the house and Schuyler finds me enormously embarrassing (although she does want to borrow the shoes) - Sam (age 14) continues to remain closeted in his room most of the time and doesn’t care.
In support of pole dancing, let me say that women across America are doing it - check out Sheila Kelly’s S Factor. It’s fantastic exercise. The first part of the class is spent in a killer workout, training the muscles you need to excel at the pole (stomach and arms especially). Then there’s lot’s of stretching and sexy dance moves we practice before going for the pole. The exercises and pole tricks are done in a darkened studio, lit by candlelight, with no mirrors.
Some of the women in class are absolutely gorgeous to watch and if I were not the confident, self-assured wife in the fast lane that I am, I could easily develop a complex.But I’m choosing not to. The way I look at it, for someone my age (over 40 ahem, ahem) at my fitness level (let’s just say I can’t do the splits) to even attempt this, well, it’s a beautiful thing. I have to give myself credit. Well done, Karen! And take a look at what Mr. Pole’s done to my body! Yes, that’s me with someone else’s head photoshopped on.* 
Goose Down Scam Rocks the Southwest!
I was speaking to my brother, Don, in Dallas last night and he told me a story that shocked me to the core. It seems that he was getting his very expensive goose down couch reupholstered. After spending about $3,000 on this (fabric, labor), it came back and felt wrong. He had another upholsterer check it and it turned out the first one had stolen all his down and replaced it with a cheap synthetic filling. It’s now going to cost him another $2,000 to buy new down and fix the botched job. He’ll have to go to court if he wants his money back from the crooked upholsterer who, of course, denies everything. Who would have thought there is a market for stolen down? Anyway, consider yourself warned.
So many of you have asked what my new book is about (okay, four have asked), so I thought I’d share some flap copy on it with you (it’s still in flux, but you’ll get the idea).
Holly never seems to get it right - but that won’t stop her trying.
Fashion historian Holly Ross has always been obsessed with Audrey Hepburn. As a child, she dreamed of being Sabrina, Princess Ann, or Audrey herself - living in a simpler time when the clothes were beautiful, the men debonair, and the endings happy. After she grew up, Holly’s beauty and talent never approached that of her idol and the only movie her life resembled was a horror flick.
So where did it all go wrong? How is it that in one day Holly finds herself homeless, jobless, penniless - and fiance-less? Why is she cruising on the ultra-luxurious Tiffany Star in pursuit of real estate tycoon Denis King? And how come she is trying to track down a suitcase full of priceless Audrey Hepburn gowns before Interpol tracks her down?
With the gorgeous Mediterranean and the eternal city of Rome as the backdrop, this romantic fashion caper starring the endearingly accident-prone Holly Ross is filled with intrigue, comedy, and plot twists galore. Will Holly get the promotion she deserves - or will she be thrown in jail? Will she capture the heart of Denis King - or will he marry society girl Sydney Bass? And when Holly’s escapades start to resemble an Audrey Hepburn film, will she find happiness pursuing a new dream while finally starring in the movie of her own life?
Ta da! Hope this appeals to you. I promise it’s a lot of fun.
Book Recommendation of the Month
Like she needs more publicity! But I have to admit, it’s a great read.
Hope you have a wonderful August. Mark and I are taking a cruise. I’ll tell you all about it in September.
xoox Karen
* I’m lying, but at least I’m honest about it.
Good site! Successes in future
SworoSard, May 4 2008