I got to meet Conan O’Brien. You won’t believe what he said to my daughter…

May 3, 2009

Dear Friends,

The Miami Social Whirl.
It has been waaaaay too long since I’ve written. You know I live in Miami Beach now and I suppose you figured out that I got all caught up in the social whirl at Turnberry Ocean Colony, the super exclusive ultra-fancy condo building where I reside. Seriously, our building is SO fancy that residents fly their dogs in to visit on private jets. We’re so fancy here that people have to specify which color they mean when asking the valet for their Rolls Royce – “I feel like driving the blue one today.” We’re so fancy here that the Cher of Russia lives in our north tower. Yes, Russia has a Cher; doesn’t every country? We’re so fancy here that at the last condo association meeting residents were fighting over how much MORE they wanted to pay for services instead of less. We’re so fancy here that everyone addresses each other by their royal titles (except for Mark and I who, as I mentioned in an earlier newsletter, are the Beverly Hillbillies of Turnberry Ocean Colony).

The season has been an absolute madhouse, what with all the parties, charity balls, beach bashes and fashion shows in which I did not partake. It wasn’t that I wasn’t invited, although I wasn’t. No, I was on a strict diet all winter long. On the positive side, I dropped 25 pounds and look mah-velous! With the post-Passover exodus, most of my neighbors have left and the beach has become a lonely place. Even the nudists flew north for the summer.

I got to meet Conan O’Brien!
One great feature about living in Miami is that everyone comes to visit. Not long ago, my friend Anne who works for NBC flew in on business. She was schlepping Conan O’Brien across the country to visit all the affiliate stations before he debuts the Tonight Show in June. Anyway, Conan is my all-time-favorite-comedy-genius-hero. I wanted to meet him but didn’t want to act all celebrity struck. Naturally, I did anyway, falling to my knees and begging Anne to arrange a meeting and dawggonit to heck, she did! After dinner at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, Anne, Schuyler, and I met up with Cone. That’s what I call him now. He calls me Kar. Cone was everything I dreamed of in a comedy-genius-hero and more! Impossibly tall, with carrot-colored hair, the man was kind, generous, and hysterically funny. Seriously, everything that came out of his mouth made me laugh. I don’t think he can help himself. He is scary smart and doesn’t miss a trick. The best part was that he counseled Schuyler about the high school play in which she was about to appear, giving her some advice based on his own high school acting days. She told him she wanted to become an actress and he said that he fully expected to have her on his show someday talking about her latest film. Wasn’t that a generous of him to say? I tell you, that Cone, he’s the man.

How I dropped 25 Pounds and you can too!
Okay, back to the twenty-five pounds I lost. Do you want to know how I did it? If you’re one of those skinny bitches, just skip this part. If not, read on:
1. You gotta want it bad. I think this is key to accomplishing anything really. I was beginning to look like a ball and my desire to lose the weight finally surpassed my desire to eat.
2. I ate between 1,000 – 1,200 calories a day five days a week (I took weekends off and ate and drank whatever I wanted). A typical daily menu was a multi-vitamin, honey-nut cheerios and non-fat milk for breakfast, cottage cheese and pineapple chunks for lunch, honey-nut cheerios and non-fat milk for dinner, a 100-calorie pack of pop corn for a snack. Hey, I didn’t say this was a healthy diet. For a healthy diet, read Skinny Bitch.
3. Here’s the secret weapon: I drank about four Kellogg’s powdered protein lemonade drinks (30 calories) and powdered fiber lemonade drinks (20 calories) every day (about 100 calories in total). These drinks fills you up and you aren’t hungry. Warning: They cause gas. I just blamed it on the dog when anyone mentioned it.
4. I worked out A LOT!!! Mostly I did cardio on the treadmill and the stair-stepper machine. When I say A LOT, I averaged two hours a day. It helped to exercise in front of the TV. A good drama always kept me going. Because of knee problems, I couldn’t work out hard so I had to settle for long.

That’s my secret. I went from 135 to 110 between January 15 and now and I’m continuing to stick with the program. So if you want to lose weight, this is the formula that worked for me.

Meet me under the Penis at the Time Warner Center
I’m happy to report that Schuyler will be attending Stella Adler Acting Studio in the fall, so I’ll have yet another reason to visit New York. After 25 years, NYC got into my blood and I’m having serious withdrawal pains, finding any reason to get back as often as I can. My latest excuse is an ovarian cyst my Manhattan doctor is watching. Last time I visited, he discovered another one. Yipee!!! I thought. One more reason to come back to NY. Then I thought, I should probably go see my old psychiatrist for thinking that. Yeow!!! Yet another reason to return to NY. Every time I go there, I discover something new. Last visit, my friend told me to meet her under the pen-s at the Time Warner Center (I’d better not spell it out or your spam filters will grab this). I had no idea what she meant until I saw the anatomically correct Botero statues in the lobby. Next time you go to NYC, check it out. Tourists act perfectly ridiculous in the presence of that pen-s. Seriously, they make complete and utter fools of themselves, taking pictures of themselves measuring it, massaging it, kissing it. Can you die? What losers! That’s me in the picture pretending like the statue is peeing on my head.

Hedge Fund Wives
If you’re looking for a good summer read, my friend Tatiana Boncompagni’s new book, Hedge Fund Wives, is out May 5. I read an early draft of it and it’s gloriously gossipy! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Here’s the synopsis:

In this amazingly timely story about what the wealthy do when Wall Street lays an egg, the author of Gilding Lily once again delivers a witty and insightful treatment of today’s woman, as she explores the sacrifices they make, the bargains they strike, the rules they follow, and what happens when it all starts to fall apart.

Who could have guessed that Wall Street would go south just as Marcy Emerson and her husband moved east? Down to earth Marcy relocated from Chicago to New York when her husband was offered a big time job as a hedge fund manager.

She gives up her own job—after all, hedge fund wives don’t work! And while at first it’s fun to shop all day and party all night, Marcy quickly learns that life among the rich can be anything but easy and that behind every smile can be a stab in the back.

Still, it’s not until her husband leaves her for his thinner, blonder mistress—a woman who is higher up the social ladder than the original Mrs. Emerson will ever be—that Marcy decides to stand on her own two feet once again, and fight for the things that are far more important than money.

The Sister Diaries
If you happen to live in the UK, The Sister Diaries will be released in July. I’m not sure when it’s coming out in the US, but will let you know as soon as I do. It was a tough book for me to write because it centers around three main characters that had to be fully developed. My other books feature one measly character (SO much easier!). It was dramatic, emotional, mysterious and humorous all at the same time, which was challenging to pull off. I think I did it, though, and I hope you’ll agree. Here’s short description:

Although they couldn’t be more different, Amanda, Serena and Laura Moon have always been there for one another. Amanda sizzles in the high stakes arena of New York City real estate – but drags herself home each night to a cold, empty bed. From senior executive at Prada, Serena is now an over-the-top stay-at-home mom, plunging her marriage into crisis and her four-year-old into therapy. Laura spent the last six years caring for their dying mother. Now she is trying to breathe new life into her abandoned music career. Emotions explode when the sisters learn that their mother left everything – the multi-million dollar family home and a priceless painting – to selfish, undeserving Serena. But why? In an effort to make sense of the bequest, the girls journey to East Hampton to unravel the mystery behind their mother’s past, setting off a chain of events that threatens the very core of their sisterhood.

I borrowed the girls’ last name from good friend Nancy Moon. The book is full of juicy real estate stories, all based on true events revealed to me by some of Manhattan’s top agents. Laura is single and her experiences are inspired by stranger-than-fiction stories that my girlfriends told me. Serena is modeled after some very real Manhattan Momzillas I have known through the years. I couldn’t make her as crazy as the real ones, though, or you’d hate her. There is also an adorable little boy named Sebastian, a genius with a secret pacifier habit, who is one of my favorite characters ever. Anyway, be sure to pick up a copy if you’re in the UK. In fact, you can pre-order right now. Just click this sentence and you’ll be at the Amazon page where you can order it.

Oh, by the way, would you like to be my friend on Facebook? If so, search for Karen Nedler Quinn. That’s it for now my future Facebook friends. I’m off to enjoy the beautiful Miami sunshine.

Love,

Karen Nedler Quinn

2 Responses to “I got to meet Conan O’Brien. You won’t believe what he said to my daughter…”

2 comments so far...

Name (required)

Email (will not be published) (required)

Comment