Karen Quinn's Last Word Contests
Wife in the Fast Lane
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Win e-fame and great prizes in Karen Quinn's contest inspired by her novel Wife in the Fast Lane

They Have Nothing On Me….

SuperMan has nothing on me….I can fly into my mommy mobile with my kids in a single bound in less than 5 seconds. I have Xray vision…I have seen more radiological x-rays of my girls broken this, croup that, reflux here, adenoids there. I can look like two different people and no one knows it’s me….The first is the messy, sweaty gym clothes-wearing, hole-in-socks, food on shirt, disheveled mommy who looks blah, boring, tired and stressed and then with a blink of the eye, I turn into Chic Mommy…high heeled boots, trendy pants and a funky shirt.

Shakira has nothing on me….I can sexily gyrate my hips every which way when doing the ‘freeze dance’, I can hold my spatula microphone and belt out Barney’s “I love you, you love me” like a rock star.

Dick Clark has nothing on me….I can MC Simon Says at my daughter’s birthday party better than Dick Clark on New Years Eve. I can play kiddy music from our iPod like its nobodies business and get my girls to dance around like its American Bandstand in our living room.

Martha Stewart has nothing on me…I can multi-task better than the domestic diva herself! Laundry, no problem. Laundry and making dinner, no biggie. Laundry, dinner, homework, tidying up, bathing kids, making lunch for next day, walking dog, brushing loooonnnggg tangled hair while the kids flinch, all while scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees…puh-lease….it’s a synch.

Dr. Phil has nothing on me…. I’m a relationship therapist and emotional psychologist (without the degrees, of course) to my friends, I can stroke my husbands ego, pump up my kids on the soccer field, be a supporter of worthy causes, rally with the school’s PTA to raise money at the bake sale…all while “KEEPING IT REAL”

Survivor has nothing on me… no fire, no shelter, no food…come to my house one day and try to outlast and outwit my kids and you’ll wish you were back on that island with a bunch of cranky strangers!

There is something on me….usually old globs of food and yellow stains, a Hello Kitty sticker on my bum that my girls stuck there as we left for school, a cell phone for the imminent phone call from the school nurse that someone is sick, post-its in my pocket to remind me that I have a conference call and dry cleaning to pick up AND LAST, but NOT LEAST, a smile on my face because of the wonderful life I have chosen to live!

45 Responses to “They Have Nothing On Me….”

Great!

Rochelle, March 6 2007

You go girl!

Loralee, March 6 2007

You go on with your bad self, Super Mamasita!

Saquisha Brown, March 7 2007

you just summarized every great mother!!!!

Debbie, March 7 2007

Role Model!

George, March 7 2007

Good luck! It sounds like you need a break.

Jennifer, March 7 2007

WOW!

Peter, March 7 2007

You hang in there!

Dave, March 7 2007

Great, loved it…

jane, March 7 2007

I was inspired !!!

chris, March 8 2007

Loved it!

Diane, March 8 2007

Great Essay!

Tim Vanasse, March 8 2007

great and true, nice flow to it

Ed, March 8 2007

I LOVE YOUR ENERGY

HEIDI, March 8 2007

Very cute!

Patti, March 8 2007

This made me smile REAL big!!

Lynda Kinker, March 8 2007

Fierce Momma!!!

Matt, March 8 2007

Very witty, and a fun read too! Any friend of Lynda’s must be awesome.

Chris Roberts, March 8 2007

A very witty & fun read

Chris Roberts, March 8 2007

you go girl!!

allison moses, March 8 2007

Rock on!!

Sam, March 8 2007

Your energy level is impressive!

JSC, March 8 2007

Wow! That was a fun read. Your energy was great!

Pamela, March 9 2007

This is your “what’s one more” girl. Your essay is so creative and well written. I can truly relate to it. I do most of that stuff all day too, Barney, Sesame Street, Shakira, Star Wars, Light Sabers & etc….. I wonder what I will do once this contest is over. It’s been fun checking and getting calls from all my friends. This has been a great grown-up game for me. Good Luck and keep writing…

Nikki, March 9 2007

This is great, Missy! You got my vote!!!

Patti, March 10 2007

Love that your keeping it REAL!! Good Job!!

Andrea, March 10 2007

Very Clever!

Karen, March 10 2007

You rule!

Dawn, March 11 2007

Amazing what a mom does for her life!

Gail C, March 12 2007

Great read. Amazing woman!

Ted, March 12 2007

Whooooosh!…. Ain’t nobody got nothin on you, gal!

Dale Collie, March 12 2007

very nice

Neil Dash, March 12 2007

Go girl!

Mary Pye, March 12 2007

Go Missy!

Mary Pye, March 12 2007

Been there done that loved it all.

colleen vedder, March 12 2007

What a Woman! Keep it up!

Mary, March 12 2007

good luck

Liz, March 12 2007

Missy, I am in awe of you!!!!!!!!!!!

Leslie, March 13 2007

Great!

Mary Lynn, March 13 2007

I love your enthusiasm through it all….

Adrienne Frodella, March 13 2007

great essay! I loved it!

Olga, March 13 2007

Great! Keep going…

Carol, March 13 2007

Truly an inspiration to us all !!!!

Diana Vosswinkel, March 13 2007

Very nicely put. You spoke the true being of a mother and I enjoyed reading it.

Tiffannie, April 12 2007

Funny and so true.

Omaira, April 13 2007

45 comments so far...

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