I gave my female boss a hug and automatically started burping her!

I looked down at the dog bowl on the floor to see it full of my two-year-old son’s cereal, milk, and a spoon. I then looked at the breakfast table to see my son curiously tasting his “breakfast.”

I actually enjoyed being stuck in a JetBlue plane for 6 hours - and that was before we took off!

….while talking about a problem over dinner, I absent-mindedly cut my colleague’s steak into bite size pieces.

my sister compared me to Cinderella; I thought she meant I was beautiful until she said what she REALLY meant is that I’m too busy to clean my kitchen properly, which attracts mice and birds.

I found my car running on the 4th floor of the parking garage after a full day at work.

I realized that my underwear selections had gotten much uglier over the years, and I just didn’t care.

sex reminded me of the fast food drive-up….hot, fast and a quick stop on my way to do something else!

my microwave went out and my children cried because they did not know how they were going to eat…..

my husband asked me what my favorite sexual fantasy was and I told him, “you making love to me without waking me up.”